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Naked bowling – It’s a thing & could help prevent spread of zombie infections

naked-bowling-01It seems far fetched, at first glance, the concept of naked bowling being an aid in the fight against the spread of zombie infection rates. But a few out side the box thinkers in post zombie apocalypse St. Louis have come up with an entertaining idea with a positive side effect.

David Wraith is co-founder of Sex Positive St. Louis, a group that organized the “clothing optional” bowling event that took place Good Friday. He states the event is really nothing new as naked bowling had occurred pre-apocalypse at another long since closed bowling alley called Carriage Bowl. He goes on to say that his group is carrying on tradition, one that makes him proud of his city as going back to the 90’s St. Louis was open minded enough to have events similar.naked-bowling-02

But that open mindedness may not be in as much abundance as Wraith may think. Politicians happy to have made it this far into the zombie apocalypse are not happy about what transpired and are questioning the legality of the event. Most St. Louis survivors that we were able to communicate with, which was none, thought it ridiculous that those few precious uninfected humans who are left in the area who wish to celebrate their love of bowling, nudism and not being eaten could be denied the opportunity to partake in this or some of the other events that have been taking place. Missouri does have statutes regarding nudity, obscenity, and public indecency that predate the apocalypse.naked-bowling-03

There are unconfirmed reports that in areas where there are substantial numbers of survivors, many are considering making naked events such as this mandatory on a regular basis to help uncover those hiding bites or infected wounds. They say that the great advantage to bowling in the buff or similar events, is the opportunity to ensure your neighbor has no zombie bites on their person in a fun, casual way.

In almost every other area of life since the zombie apocalypse began, you are rarely ever certain that the person you come across isn’t going to turn at any moment from an undisclosed or hidden bite. Baring a very discreet, accurate and sexually generous zombie, naked bowling pretty much ensures you can have a zombie free evening and actually let your defenses down a little for a change.naked-bowling-04

Locally, the general consensus was that this ranked high on the list of “Zombie Apocalypse Nopes.” However when asked again late on “Moonshine Night”, opinions had swung the other way, with many saying “Sshure sounds good, why can’t I see you?”

We’d like to take this opportunity to announce that if you have had any of Grandma Nellie’s blackberry hooch, with a vintage of Tuesday and which she was distributing on “Moonshine Night”, please seek medical attention immediately.

In addition to the naked bowling event, Wraith and his group have organized naked pool parties, bike rides and poetry nights. Ironically, most poetry nights I’ve experienced were to get someone naked so it’s somewhat refreshing to be able to start the evening that far ahead of the game.

naked-bowling-05Wraith, who has one of the absolute best zombie apocalypse names we have heard yet, was very clear with the approximately 30 survivors gathered on the second floor of the bowling alley in Maplewood. “Bend at the knees” being one of the most stressed rules. “Do what you need for the purposes of bowling, but if you drop something, please, for all our sakes, consider bending at the knees.”

The multigenerational, multi-cultural and multi-shape-ural participants enjoyed not just personal freedoms with a touch of exhibitionism and voyeurism, but a complete absence of the undead and inhibitions. One participant even told Wraith this was his dream, to bowl naked. It may not seem like a big dream to many, but only those in attendance that night, really know how big it was.

Photo Credits: Danny Wicentowski – Riverfront Times

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