The zombie apocalypse has hit every industry hard, including the fast food industry. First, who can find a cow these days. Second, even if you can find a farm providing beef, most of the time during the whole supply chain process somebody, somewhere gets bitten by a zombie and the process has to start over again.
When enough things do come together, a location gets a shipment and has enough staff that have survived the hoards of undead long enough to put it all together, what happens?
9 out of 10 customers are eaten by zombies in the parking lot.
With sales declining at an … apocalyptic rate, Burger King has become the first fast food player to adapt to the times and utilize the chaotic state of the world today in it’s marketing strategy.
By changing their slogan to “Be Your Way,” Burger King has moved to “double tap” into the zombie fast food market. No longer are the undead rejected when lurching out for a quick bite.
Since the slogan change, sales have skyrocketed and now several other fast food chains are looking into marketing towards both the dead that have risen, and their preferred source of protein, us.
Fernando Machado is Burger King’s senior vice president of global brand management. During an interview he stated that “Have It Your Way” focuses only on the purchase — the ability to customize a burger. By contrast, he said “Be Your Way” is about making a connection with a person’s greater lifestyle. In this case, both the zombie and human lifestyles.
While the slogan has been successful to both species, it hasn’t been without its share of issues. Human sales numbers for in house dining have dwindled to zero due to the reluctance of people to sit and eat beside hideous creatures intent on devouring them.
Drive through sales have gone through the roof however as many human customers find it theraputic mowing down the undead who linger too long in the cross walks out front. Which is a great many due to the majority of the undead’s insistence on shuffling.
Not surprisingly, zombie drive through sales numbers have flatlined due to their inability to actually drive, while their dine in numbers are constantly growing.
These issues are minor though and do nothing to detract from senior management’s positive outlook for the future.
When asked what was next in this exciting time in the industry and for Burger King specifically, a rep for the company stated they will soon be introducing new kids meals & toys that are more relevant to the youth of today. A time when they are much more mature than in past because they have had to be to survive.
It’s rumored that the first such toy for the new kids meals will be a “Whopper Whacker.” Something fun to play with, but which can quickly be turned into a zombie braining tool.
One thing Burger King officials have committed to is ensuring the marketing for their new kids meals will not go with the strategy perpetual rival McDonalds used which was to create a mascot that scared humans and zombies alike.
Seriously, who came up with that?
Oh wait, the same people that thought a clown was a good idea.