Stories have emerged over the last several weeks about dead and dying pigeons in Winnipeg and Moscow.
In both cities, the birds have been seen first acting confused and strange, and then turning up dead.
Examinations on birds from both regions have yet to reveal the cause behind the illnesses.
The birds showed symptoms of dizzyness and confusion. Some walking backwards in circles, some standing still with their heads on the ground, others twisting their necks and many falling out of trees dead.
If you haven’t already grabbed a shotgun and started filling jugs with water, then you haven’t been paying attention.
Initial test results ruled out the birds having eaten anything unusual although some found in Russia did show signs of Salmonella poisoning.
Since the stories first came out several weeks ago, media reports on the outbreak have all but disappeared. A classic sign of government interference and a desire to keep the populace in the dark about the seriousness of the situation.
Or the birdies really did just have some bad seed and there is nothing to report…riiiiight.
While some are reporting this is an unexplained event that has actually happened annually for the last few years, we have also heard from absolutely no one that pigeons have been seen stocking up on water, supplies and weapons in preparation for what is being called an Avian Apocalypse.
When approached for a comment, one of the pigeons we saw stock piling food and weapons pulled his gun on us. We asked the police sketch artist at the station where we filed our report to provide us with a copy of the composite drawing. They agreed on the condition that we cautioned our readers to not approach this pigeon if you see him. Please call your local police department’s emergency line.