NASA confirms “blood moon” blood not contagious and not really blood

nasa_lunar1A blood moon will be occurring tonight, but NASA scientists that we haven’t spoken with and we are not sure survived, tell us there is nothing to fear. With the zombie apocalypse upon us and chaos in the streets, it only makes sense that further signs of the end of days grace us with their presence.

One such portent of mankind’s impending doom is the “blood moon.” An event so rare that it is only happening 4 times between now and this time next year.

The moon will start changing color around 1:58 a.m. Eastern time Tuesday morning, with the effect being caused by the moon sliding into the Earth’s shadow. Eventually the moon will enter a total eclipse stage which is expected to last just over an hour starting at 3:07 Eastern time.

It’s expected that survivors of the zombie bloodbath in the Americas and western Pacific will see the show provided conditions are clear enough in their areas and of course, the undead are not out in numbers.

As previously stated, this lunar event will be occurring 3 more times over the course of the coming year. When four lunar eclipses occur in a row like this, it is called a Tetris and it is usually best to lay them flat so that you can build other pieces on them.tin-can-telephone

UPDATE: Apparently the correct term for 4 lunar eclipses in a row is a tetrad, which has nothing to do with Tetris that, as it turns out, was a video game. That said, if you are playing Tetris and get the straight four in a row piece, it is still an excellent base upon which to build with other pieces.

From what information we can gather from “Tin Can Timmy,” our communication specialist and the soup can string telephone array he has put together, officials are reporting that the blood used in this eclipse can not, we repeat, can not infect humans and will not turn you into a moon.

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