Possible Zombie Dolphin Attack in Japan

A report has come in that two dolphins have been infected by some sort of T-virus/Rage virus.  The two dolphins were performing at Okichan Theater, part of the Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium when the infection kicked in.

Image: EUGENE HOSHIKO / THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Image: EUGENE HOSHIKO / THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

According to local liquor inspector Naoki, he had just finished a double, shift that is, “inspecting” each bottle of alcohol on the premises when he went to catch the dolphin show.  It was part way through the show when the dolphins succumbed to the infection and could be seen turning on their trainer, pictured here.

Naoki quickly made his escape and could not tell us how many fell victim to the dolphin attack .  When asked about the delay in reporting the incident he mentioned he was suffering some sort of post traumatic stress disorder symptoms or something similar.  He experienced nausea, the spins and brief periods where he thought he was either good looking, funny or invisible but really wasn’t.  Fortunately, local police were able to help him by placing him in isolation and letting him sleep it off.

We contacted police for a comment, however all knowledge of the attack was denied and we were asked not to call the RCMP detachment in Surrey, B.C. again unless there was an emergency.  We would have called the police department in Okinawa, however it was prime time and our phone bill is really high right now.

The Okinawa Churaumi aquarium is located in  Motobu, on the southern island of Okinawa, Japan.

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